Part 1: The Joy Compass - Mapping Your Personal Delights
When I was a little girl growing up in the north-central part of our state, it was a bit of a family joke to see where I thought we were going versus where we were actually going. Let’s just say, no matter how hard my parents tried to teach me to read a map, when it came down to navigating a trip, my brother was given the task. We all know that without a bearing of where you currently are, it’s going to be a challenge to figure out how to get to your destination. You need the beginning coordinates to set your route but you also need the right tools for the trip.
Three years ago my girls and I set out on a roadtrip to Utah. There were several points leading up to and during our adventures when I thought, “What am I thinking?? I’m not certain I can navigate us to where we are going successfully, let alone if something happens along the way!” Despite being filled with doubt, I set our route (thank you Google Maps!) and off we went following the little blue dot along the way. I knew a) where we were and b) where we were going. More importantly, I knew the purpose of our trip and the feeling I was desiring for the journey. Connection, laughter, curiosity, adventure, clarity, and excitement. However, had there not been speed limit signs, traffic warnings, highway and freeway exit signs, or even Welcome To state signs, we would have been helplessly off track.
It seems like everyone these days likes to remind us that creating our life is about the journey, not the destination. And while I agree, I feel like we miss the step of identifying the very necessary guides that keep us on our correct path. Imagine roads without signs - you wouldn’t know when to turn, how long to stay on each road, when to yield or what speed you should travel at. It’s a map with only lines and no words. This might feel like using your three-year-old’s drawing as a guide. Can you imagine?!
The signposts are what is authentically important to us at a soul level - more commonly termed as values. Values will always point you back to the right path. Let’s pause for a minute before I go any further and define values in contrast to virtues, which are often intermixed.
Values: a person's principles or standards of behavior; one's judgment of what is important in life.
Virtues: conformity to a standard of right; morality. (ie kindness, compassionate)
Now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s get back to your personal map. Your location is where you currently are. Your destination is where you desire to go. Your checkpoints and signs along the way are your values. Make no mistakes: we each have different values - they’re as individual to us as our fingerprints. No value is exactly identified by someone else the same way it will be for you. How do we figure out our individual values? This is where the fun comes in! While there are many lists you can search and select words that feel most resonate to you, I have found discovering your values through what innately and genuinely brings you joy is not only more clear, but also more accurate.
When you’re ready, grab a piece of paper folded in half the long way (hotdog style) and a pencil and let’s get started. Joy will be your compass in this exercise and in order to get as much data as possible you will want to create a list no shorter than 35 items and if at all possible, closer to 50. On the left side of the paper, consider what spark genuine delight in you. It could be as simple as slowly sipping a warm cup of coffee or more complex such as the challenge of a difficult bike ride. There is no activity or thing too small for this list, so don’t limit yourself. The only requirement is that something about the task sends a spark through your system. Those moments when for an instant everything feels perfect, even in the middle of chaos. Comforts. Joys. Jubilation. Triumph.
Remember, this list is not about judgement, external validation or accomplishment. It is purely personal resonance. It might take a while to get into the flow, please don’t give up on yourself too early. I suggest a minimum of 15 minutes to generate your list - it may take that entire time to simply get started. That is OK. If you get really stuck, consider what you absolutely cannot stand. What feels like an absolute no to your soul or fingernails on a chalkboard? However, joy will be your most accurate compass.
Now what?! Come back next week and we’ll continue the process of unpacking the hidden insight behind our joys. Until then, maybe you can consider infusing just one of these delights into your week and let that spark of light shine in your soul before you rush out the door to the next activity or task!
