Replace Holiday Overwhelm with Inner Calm
3 days ago I was standing in the Verizon store when I heard my first Christmas song of 2025.
Seriously?!
Let me point out we are still weeks out from Thanksgiving people, but the truth is the holiday season is rapidly approaching. And nothing makes it feel like the holidays for me than Christmas music; however, I prefer to play them no sooner than the day after Thanksgiving. Otherwise the only purpose they serve is to raise my anxiety and feelings of overwhelm.
Can you relate?
I have always truly looked forward to the holidays, but as one season has rolled into the next and I’ve gotten older it’s begun to lose its appeal. At some point finding the “perfect” gift became less of a challenge for myself and more of an obligation to fulfil and an item to cross off the list. The fun gatherings, holiday parties, school events, baking, decorating … it all became the opposite of fun. They became have-tos.
I can’t point to a specific moment. Maybe it was the time my daughter told me she’d just ask Santa for her desired gift since he would get it for her. Or when, no matter how hard I tried to make everyone’s holiday desire fit on the schedule, I was required to listen to one complaint after another of who felt short changed or overbooked. Maybe it was feeling as if I did all the work and actually enjoyed Christmas the least. Who knows, but the fact of the matter was Christmas had lost its magic on me.
Until I began to ask myself one simple question.
How do I want to feel during the holidays?
I wanted to feel present, excited, joyful, and dare I say it - rested. I wanted to feel the connection and spirit of the holidays more than the worry of cleaning out our closets so the new gifts would fit into them once everything had been opened. I wanted to feel grateful in receiving and purposeful in giving. Mostly, I wanted to create memories that could be captured in my heart (& on my camera) and in the memories of my daughters.
From here the rest came naturally. If this was how I wanted to feel, what did I need to do to realign to this? What boundaries did I need? Could I get really honest about what actually needed to get done and what tasks were stories I’d made up? What activities and traditions actually aligned with my values and what had I taken on as expectations?
Low and behold, the magic slowly returned. One intentional step at a time.
The truth is always this - our time and our love is the truest gift for everyone in our presence during the holidays. Yes, our kids will remember some of the gifts they got and our parents will remember the happy squeals and racing feet through the house. And, they will also remember noticing the circles under our eyes and the snippy comment we made to their well-intended story about Great Aunt Susie’s famous mashed potatoes. And believe it or not, our kids will remember the tension in the room even if they aren’t able to name it.
Sometimes mamas, we truly are Christmas. I get it. But remember, the holidays are not simply for everyone else. They are also a time of celebration that you get to enjoy as well. Not every wish needs to be met by you alone. This is a great time to go back to your values and ask yourself if you’re focusing on those or putting everyone else’s values front and center.
Let me give you another tip. Once you’ve named how you want to feel (& I strongly suggest writing it down in your journal so you can look at it and remind yourself at least 5 times a week!) try this activity I created to help reduce overwhelm. I call it simply: the ONE activity (click the link for your free download!)
O: Name what overwhelms you during the holidays
N: Identify what you need & ask for help (remember, not everything has to be done by you)
E: Recognize what expectation needs to be rewritten or released (there’s always next year)
So - how do you want to feel this holiday season, and what does that look like for you?
I am wishing you a beautiful, peaceful, aligned holiday season! And if you’re looking for a little guidance in reducing overwhelm in your life, I would love a quick chat to see if coaching would be a good fit to help you realign your life in 2026. I believe in you Mama!!
