Releasing Chaos…
There have been times in my life when I used chaos and busy as proof of productivity and organization. My response to “How are you?” would sound like “Busy, but life is good. Just full!”. Have you found yourself replying something along those lines? It’s not a lie. Life is full.
What if chaos is really over-functioning while self-abandoning? And in an effort to normalize it we call it love and devotion.
I used to define my role as a stay-at-home mama as serving everyone else first while putting my needs at the end of the to-do list. If we’re honest, I’m not sure I even knew what my needs were. I believed keeping everyone else happy and their needs met was where I would find MY joy and purpose. I thought self-erasure was faithfulness, love, and purpose.
Unfortunately, this belief only created chronic overwhelm, unnamed resentment, and a life that looked great from the outside but was silently really lonely. And it was not effective in showing my daughters that boundaries, voice, and taking time for themselves was not only beneficial but acceptable. My walk did not align with my talk.
The truth was I didn’t resent serving. I resented disappearing.
Life has a way of providing us the gift of hindsight. I would not change staying home with our girls in a million years. I would not prioritize work outside of the home … it isn’t a value of mine. What I would change, that I wasn’t even aware I needed, was purpose that was mine alone. As my girls have grown and my role at home has shifted, it has been a challenge to rediscover who I am, what my strengths are, and where I create impact. There has been confusion around identity and while it’s exciting to rediscover, it can also be considerably confusing and frustrating.
Showing up for yourself is not about doing less for your family, chasing selfish fulfillment, or merely optimizing productivity.
It is about:
—> Redefining service to include you along side of your family
—> Learning that martyrdom is not holiness, love, or leadership
—> Guiding you to serve from fullness & alignment, not depletion
We are not called to disappear to be faithful. We are called to lead with abundance and love.
As mamas we get to show our children how to lead, how to claim space for themselve while being devoted to their families, how to dream and what it looks like to love from a place of true fullness. Close your eyes for a moment, take in a slow deep breath (or three!) and imagine what that would look and FEEL like for you. Don’t be afraid … that gentle smile playing on your lips is the expansiveness your soul is calling you to. It is possible mama. This is what if feels like to live in your authenticity while releasing the story of chaos as normal.
Last week I received this text from a high achieving woman that met with me for a single session six months ago:
The impact that you've continued to have on my life has been immeasurable. Our coaching session helped me to shift my priorities to our home and family first and foremost without guilt, and the balance I've been craving has returned.
One session of rediscovering what she most valued and asking what one step she could take to bring herself closer to that vision. Imagine what magic and momentum could be found with continued coaching! Showing up for yourself isn’t glamorous … it’s necessary. And it doesn’t need to take endless hours.
Here’s a little math for you:
There are 168 hours in each week
minus 8 hrs/night for sleep (56 hrs/wk) = 112 hours
minus 40 hrs of work = 72 hours
minus 3 hrs/night for family (24 hrs/wk) = 48 hours
Yes, you also have a home to care for, cooking, errands, budgeting, appointments, and more, but are you able to look at that and honestly tell me there is not one hour in your week that you can make time for your growth?! Especially if it allows you to release overwhelm and prioritize what is aligned with your strengths and values. If you are still struggling to accept this truth, I want to encourage you to ask yourself: who and how would others in your life benefit if you made time to align to your true soul and strengths. To get clear on your priorities, what is yours to carry and what isn’t, where you can serve your family and yourself, and what that could gift your children and their children with in their future.
If you're done carrying everything for everyone and ready to lead with intention, I am offering a low-priced offer to test my new program and you are the first to be invited! There are only THREE spots on a first come, first serve basis.
For $120 you get 3 private coaching sessions:
One 30-minute clarity call to confirm fit
Name your real sources of overwhelm
Clarify your values and non-negotiables
Practice asking for what you need without guilt
Ladies, let's stop calling overwhelm and chaos normal and "just this stage of life". If you're ready to take a leap, let me know! If you think of another mama who could use this benefit, please share it with them. My goal is to create leading families from our values and strengths without chaos and martyrdom normal. It’s time to rewrite this outdated script and give moms their power and spark back.
With love,
Caryn
